Uhbout Murder

I grabbed him and threw him over a rail. He died.

He came back to life like zombies do. Even zombies shit. Ever smell a zombie poo?

Anyway. He came for revenge. He threw at me machetes

I said, you ain’t ready. And I attacked him with a flamethrower.

Before he died I put a picture to his face, “Do you know her?!”

Yes. That’s me.

I put a hand in the air, Taxi!


Dreamt Of A Wild One

I had a scary dream
Construction workers were slamming their equipment into Dairy Queen
And I was in it

Of course zombies were behind them
Tearing at their flesh
One guy broke the glass as a zombie launched itself on his back

I’m like, fuck!

Then I was in a desert with a German Shepherd and a Leapord

The Leapord pissed water and the Shepherd shat moon pies

They also defended me against vicious camels who ran like horses and on their backs rode cactus holding ticki torches

The cacti were the hardest to kill, because it’s wise not bite em

I was fortunate to find in an abandoned temple a pickaxe to slice em

Then I was in a river, flowing downstream too fast to comprehend where it was leading to

It drops me off at a hospital with a cactus on a stretcher with a feeding tube

Then I heard a commotion.
Outside construction workers were slamming their equipment into the hospital
And a wave of zombies was hot on their trails


What I’m Writing Right Now

The snowfall descends with the grace of 1,000 men

I went to the dollar store to a buy a notebook
And a ballpoint pen

I use the edge of my bed as a desk and begin

So I’m sitting on the floor pretty much

I can write a small scene describing murderous ducks
Ferocious zombie ducks that can drive pickup trucks
And their beaks they sharpen against a rock
And when they peck they leave a gash
Then splash their wings on you to smother you
Other ducks come around and hover too
Then when the humans turn to zombies they follow the ducks
The flock of ducks

Or Fuck.

I can write about a slouch who runs the world from his couch
He orders orange chicken everyday and makes dildos out of Play
Doh. Or Oh! I can write about hmm…what else can I write about?