It’s Kind Of Like Crank

I’m a hotshot. I walk with an edge
My kisses taste like an orange wedge
I think I’m the best at negging a girl
But I only go nuclear on a chosen few
She chose me to be her boo
I’m like, koo

That ain’t no sweat
We got a gallon of jet fuel
For one big ass jet
It’s charted
Whatever that means
I walked into the living room
And saw a random movie scene
Should I sit down to watch?
Is what I asked myself internally
In a split second I made the decision
Not to. I walked into my room and saw my laptop open
I said, fuck it. I got to.
That ain’t even no choice
Someone should make a movie
About a guy who dies
If he doesn’t write
For over a week
Kind of like Crank
That guy had to be
An adrenaline junkie


Funny Story

Put your hand in a toaster
The mind is a neuronal coaster roller
I know the names of parts of brains
How smart am I?
The question is rhetorical
I saw a baby on the street, crawling at my feet
It was adorable
I picked her up and deemed her parents
As deplorable
The baby I took home
But it wouldn’t stop crying,
now I’m flying in a rage
To cool off I went to a play and I threw my phone at the stage
I think I then left in a rush and tripped on a rotten log
In the trees was the baby in camma


I’m like…what are you doing here?
Babies can’t walk?
The baby said, Shut up!
And I said, wtf
Babies can’t talk!



I move like sliding gelatin in the valley of orange rust

I entered my Prius in a tournament of Monster Trucks

That’s the type of shit I do

I move like a tropical storm across a puddle of rainwater

I throw farther a football than most QBs

I knew a guy named Ubeee

Yes, spelled with three Es, he was truly African

When I grab the pen, it’s like I masturbate

Eww I’m gross

I blasted a song on my speakers

My speakers were Bose



Reiterating reiterations

Making proclamations that lead to my coronation

Fantasizing about playing tennis but I can’t afford the classes 😦

Anticipating clashes many faces could be bashed in

A National Emergency has been declared, the military budget – take money from there

If I pound my chest I think I’m Ric Flair

I ride around in Corvettes

The same color as air