story

SASHA?

Milita, my real name is Milita.

So why do you call yourself Sasha?

Because…that’s how I introduced myself to Matt…and I thought, why not go with it.

Well yeah, why not go with it?

She pulled out a little mirror and began doing her little makeup

Sasha is an overused name anyway

Really?

No not really. But when I said it I felt like it was true to say. But now reflecting on it a few seconds later, I recall never meeting anyone by that name.

Until you met me.

Well, technically your name is not Sasha. So I never met a Sasha.

Suddenly a Tiger began to fuck a Horse and a Horse began to eat the pussy of a Rabbit.

What’s going on here, asked Milita.

Idk, said Jose.

What do you mean you don’t know? It’s your fantasy!

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story

More on Matthew

Matthew was in the bathroom and yet he looked up at the sky.

He said, can you please write more descriptive passages about me! And give me plot armor. Heavy, heavy, plot armor. I don’t wanna die! I don’t! I don’t!

His girlfriend said, “that was good.” She was in the shower looking all sexy. “Is that a new part?”

Yeah. It’s for my new acting class at the improv. We each have to pick a scene from a random shit. I found this in Jose’s car.

“It sounds lovely sweety. I know you will make a great actor someday. Even Jose thinks that.”

Jose…man. He’s just being nice.

Matthew masturbated into the toilet as he watched his girlfriend take a shower. His girlfriend was about to get out, but he told her to remain showering so he could bust twice a nut. “Are you fucking serious? Fucking sex Freak!”

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story

A Great Dinner

So Jose, Matthew tells me you’re going back to school?

Yeah. I’m majoring in majoring. It’s complicated. It’s not worth explaining.

So, Sasha, I hear you’re going back to school, to finish your degree in Gemuligi.

Yup. I am so looking forward to it.

Oh and Matt! Weren’t you saying something about going back to school, next semester or something.

Oh yeah. Definitely dude. I gotta finish my Yabadabadu degree. I can get a job that pays me 18 if I finish that.

Jose looked on the ground and saw Sparky. The little mutt. Oh so cute.

So Sparky, I hear you’re going back to school too.

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story

Bambi

Nobody understands me

These were the words of a bodyguard named Bambi

He worked for a guy who sold cocaine for the eyes

Meaning, you rub cocaine in your eyes

And you get high

Bambi, he

Was depressed but he

Still had to protect

He was the most depressed bodyguard

Of all time

The History Channel wanted to do

A special on him

Bambi said, but why the History Channel?

The executive said, because you’re living in the past

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story

Paula Samson

She was a woman of rank and honor

She often spoke of politics and movies

She had a husband, active duty

He was stationed in a shit country

And getting paid quite well for it

One day a native killed this tourist

And Paula cried a millenia

“Where’d she go? She was right here. I’m telling ya!”

*They looked out the window*

On the street lay the body of Paula

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Poetry

Donalds Mac

A social worker worked at King Burger
I worked at Donalds Mac
I sold crack to a tortoise who walked on legs hind
I asked the bitch for ketchup…but do she got Heinz?

I ate a hot dog with the regular people on Maxwell
That went well
I shot a snail with a rocket launcher. it did not get away
I canceled my date, I said, hoe choose another day

A social worker worked at King Burger
I worked at Donalds Mac

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