Wild Festivity

I went to a carnival
They let a tiger walk the street
She was on an imaginary leash
And a clown told everyone to calm down
It won’t attack you

The tiger made its way to a water fountain
It licked at water
The clown stood by waving at stunned onlookers
The tiger roared, even the clown started backing away from it

“What’s wrong?! I thought it was on a leash?”

It is! He reassured them. Then he pretended to pick up the leash.

The tiger then rolled over, she wanted her stomach rubbed. So cute

The crowd went: AWWW


Jose Has Left The Building


I ran into Matthew

He was selling cherry

Encrusted cashews

I’m like damn, that sounds good, how much?

He said, for you? a thousand bucks

That’s a little pricey

Then Matthew noticed

The building I was coming out of

He said, what were you doing

In there? In there, what were you doing?

His finger pointed, it shone

Underneath the streetlight

2 minutes ago it was mid-afternoon

And now a dark warm summer night?

I said, let’s take a walk my friend

I got a story worth a thousand cashews


No Home-O

If not for my parents…I might be homeless
I’m 26 and if not for my parents
I could very well be homeless
I’m so lucky because my mom
She says I can stay here forever

Obviously I don’t want to
But I can’t afford to live
Somewhere else
And I’m 26!
Am I supposed to be embarrassed?
If not for my parents…I might be homeless

And that is NOT sexy

Sometimes reality is not sexy

Sometimes it is


Outside Of Work

I received a letter in the mail.
It was from Robert Lapadu
He said the following:

Dear Jose,

The other day you drove me home. I told you to take the scenic route and you drove through as many alleys as you could. Why? At the time I didn’t ask because I was of the mindset that I should let you do your thing. Do you, as the kids say. In addition, I was engrossed by the curiosity of why the hell you were driving through alleys. I wondered evermore intently with the bounce of every speed bump. So lost in thought was I, that it did not occur to me to ask you why you were doing it.

The next day, I went to the casino to seek you, not only to seek you, but to seek you out. After describing you in vague terms, a coworker determined it was you who I was describing. He told me you don’t use phones but that you accept letters and that I could write to you. That, like your penchant for alleys, threw me for another loop. So I returned to my car and I drove to a Walgreens to buy paper and envelopes. I wrote this in the parking lot with a fleeting nostalgia that made me smile twice. I returned to the casino and entrusted this letter to your buddy. Your buddy said I was crazy and I did not disagree.

I’ve been thinking in loops, my dear driver, and to break this cycle I need an answer from you. Why on Earth, did you take the alleys? Do you not know what it means to drive scenic?

Thank you,

Robert Lapadu