A Hindi Dream

Looked out the window

Saw a Hindu doing pilates on the edge of a tree branch

I dipped fries in ranch and watched his peacefulness

He made eye contact with me after a while

A gust of wind dropped him

I said, Fuck! I called an ambulance

From indoors I saw paramedics arrive

Just then I got a text, it said we want this man dead or alive

The attachment was a picture of HIM! The Hindu

I rushed outside and stole him away from the medics

He said, buddy I need medical attention

I said, no you don’t

Just then a nuclear attack was launched

My Hindu friend couldn’t make it to the bathroom



Supreme Paranoia

People are after me
I look out of my window
And I see a strange car
I’ve never seen it before
What’s it doing here?
Is it after my ass?
Should my brown ass run?
I go get my fake gun
I’m about to shoot
I’m in the kitchen getting ready
Breathing heavy
Then breathing light
Ok. I go out flying high
Ahhhhh! I’m screaming
Gun pointed
But the car is no longer there

I’m scared 😦

I go back inside
I’m watching Family Feud
With Steve Harvey
I’m thinking about joining the Army
I look out the window. .
Oh shit! Oh crap! The car is back

What’s it doing here?
Fuck. I grab my fake gun and when I open the door
It takes off!!!

Fuck fuck fuck

I’m scared 😦


The Rhymer Helps A Blind Man

This is gonna sound like I’m bragging but too bad

I saw a blind man on the corner
Intersection busy
He kept asking
My seeing eye dog, where is he

He felt around and touched air
Kinda looked like a mime
Touching a wall that ain’t there

I looked to see if anyone else would help him
Kuz I was feeling lazy
No one did shit
Ok I’ll help him cross the street
But then what? That’s it?

I asked him where are you going?
He said home
I said ok, I’ll take you
I led him to my car
And the whole ride he kept saying
Thank you, thank you!
It was kind of annoying
I dropped him off and his sister said,
Thank you.
She offered me 20 bucks but I had to say,
No thank you.