I Got Me A Nice Harley

I met a guy
He worked at Harley Davidson
He said Jose my poop has hair in it
I said, shave the shit

Now show me your nicest bikes
He showed me a red one, he showed me a blue one
I said, Melvin…do you know of a Clara?
Ah yes me I think I knew one

I bought two bikes
One for me and one for him
We’re outside
*Vroom vroom*
Show me where she lives


Shopping Madly

I received a letter in the mail.
It was from Maxine Bellamy
She said the following:

Dear Jose,

The other day I saw you at the store but I did not tell you. Instead I followed you around the aisles and watched you pick up a cereal box, then set it down, then pick up another, then set it down, and finally the third cereal box you put in your shopping cart. So indecisive of you, Jose. I wish I had not observed this about you. You moved so clumsily, with no grace at all, around the store. Finally, when you got to the check out line, I felt the urge to approach you but decided not to. Instead I observed your hand debate whether you should get a Hershey’s bar or a Snickers. I looked away at the last second and did not see which one you decided upon. I’m wondering if you can tell me in your response which one you settled for. After I left the store, the first thing I did was write this letter so the memory of you was still fresh in my mind.

Bye Jose. I look forward to reading your letter.

Take Care,