Another Story

There was a guy named Calderon. In his way was Jeddy Loomer. “Out my way, sir. Can you not see I am headed past where you are standing?” They was in a hallway. It was narrow like the stick of an arrow. Little sunlight came thru thick drapes. And Jeddy peeled them back and saw apes. Just roaming. Like kids in a playground. “Calderon, I cannot let you pass. I cannot let you pass because it is known you are a thief. Of the highest magnitude. So I must turn you away.”

Calderon looked past Jeddy. “What is that?” Calderon then dashed past Jeddy and it was off to the races. Oh my god, he thought, I can’t wait to get the gold. I’m gonna bring it back to the village and save everyone. Me, my family, my everyone.

Jeddy took a dive at Calderon. It was but a minute later that the man in the Gold Room opened the door and saw Jeddy and Calderon making out.



Passing Away (A Story)

My dad passed away in 1937

He is now in Heaven is what the Devil told me

Why do you capitalize heaven and devil, the Devil asked me

You should only capitalize devil.

My dad, his name was Eddle

He died in a sweatshop. He was stressed out. He died of stress

Too expensive was a casket so we burned his flesh

In the fireplace. We couldn’t afford to do it professionally

Then we held marshmallows to the fire

That’s when the Devil first appeared

He said my mom was weird

And in her sleep he fucked her

So the Devil married my mom




Vista La Hasta

I’m so grateful because
I had a beautiful babe pay
Me a conjugal visit

She sat on me like I was Earth
I cursed like, ahh fuck, ahh shit, yeah
Time was up, at the guard I smirked
Lucky you, said the guard
I know, I replied. I’m a lucky guy.

Does she have a cousin
You can hook me up with?

She might. Keep bringing me old rap magazines
And I’ll see what I can do
Two months later I get out
He’s like, but what about the cousin?
Fuck yooouuu