Possible Interactions

Random Dialogue Pt. 10

Officer 1: You think he’s ready?

Officer 2: Yeah he sounds ready. Let’s bring him in.

Officer 1: You know…some people do the craziest things.

Officer 2: He’s not crazy. He’s stupid.

Officer 1: Well…I wouldn’t be so sure.

Officer 2: We’re gonna see when we bring him in. We’re gonna get a good measure of him.

Officer 1: Yeah I actually can’t wait for that.

Officer 2: I bet you a small coffee he’ll start crying for his mommy.

Officer 1: Oh shit look at that. He just wrote a post addressing us talking about him.


Random List Pt. 21

An egg with purple stripes. It hatches and in it are a book of matches

A girl cop making your world stop when she hurls shots at your twirl top

You win the lottery. Next day you invest in pottery and a company named Shottery

I threw myself on the ground and no one tried to pick me up

I discovered a new drug, it’s called Notti, you drink it with tea or with cotti

You arrive at your apartment, it’s dark. Thru a straw someone shoots at you a dart

I graduated with a degree, a bachelor’s, now I’m at home feeling like a factor

I ate cupcakes in a Mustang, while blasting the music of a band named Punch Fangs

I opened a kratom bar. 5 years later I’m recognized as a kratom star


A Knight Downtown

I got a schematic tatted
A knight with hair that’s matted
His helmet off, a blade split
The top half of his head flew
A face lift

I trace shit to its origins, a detective with shorts on

Morphine morons and egalitarian merry men

Went to a jazz club, heard Terry and The Men

New band? I asked the waitress
Yes, it would seem, she said.

Why say “it would seem” when “apparently” would suffice?

I swung at life, I swung twice
It did bust back
Shorty on me bed doing blow
She say she love that
Wow, what kind of coke is this?
The best kind apparently
Now she’s talking reckless
Saying she wants to marry me
Why ruin a good thing with marriage?
Let’s just get the baby carriage

But wait! One more year of fun!
Fuck it, why not two!
Fuck it, why not three!
Fuck it, why not four!
Alright four more years then we’ll get serious

Possible Interactions

Random Dialogue Pt. 5

Agnus Barker: This Memorial Day, will you be taking a break?

Zeke Tyler: Nah, woman. I never heard of no damn break. I’ma be in the studio, in the lab, with some peeps and some bitches. We gon make it do what it do, ya heard?

Agnus Barker: But aren’t you going to take time to think about those who died in the war?

Zeke Tyler: Which war?

Agnus Barker: I don’t know, to be honest. All of them?

Zeke Tyler: Man, it don’t even matter. All them dead soldiers can suck my dick. It’s they dumb asses that went to war. I don’t believe in that war shit. Like for real. Get out of my face with that microphone, ya heard?

Agnus Barer: Ok. You heard the man. This is Agnus Barker reporting live for Complex.com.

Possible Interactions

Random Dialogue Pt. 4 (Ahoy, Maytes)

Sailor: Captain, we’ve received the orders. Are you sure about this?

Captain: I’ve never been more sure about anything.

Sailor: Captain, after this…..can we go get ice cream?

Captain: Yes.

Sailor: You promise?

Captain: Yes.

****20 years later****

Sailor and Captain are on Death Row

Guard: What do you two maggots want for your last meal?

Sailor, Captain (in unison): Ice cream!

Sailor: I want Gold Medal Ribbon

Captain: Umm me too actually. That’s my favorite! Hey you copied me!

Sailor: No you copied me!

Captain: No you copied me!

Sailor: No you copied me!

*Voices slowly drown out*


Clever Poetry

I ate the testicles of a wooly mammoth
And then I celebrated the Holy Sabbath

I ran into a drug store and robbed the pharmacist
Two days later I’m found unconscious on the ground and shit

I equipped a bow to my shield, and I taped an arrow to the end of my sword
They told me, son…are you ready for the lamest war?

I said no, save me for the war that is greatest
I saw a guy named Arabis

Possible Interactions

Random Dialogue Pt. 2

Ice Cream Truck: Hello Mr. Fire Truck

Fire Truck: Hello Ms. Ice Cream Truck

ICT: What are you doing later?

FT: Shit. Just putting out some fires. How bout you?

ICT: I’m being taken for a car wash. At Ducky’s.

FT: You can fit thru there?! Haha. Just kidding.

ICT: Oh screw you. You can afford to lose some weight yourself.

FT: Hey after you’re done, you wanna meet me at the fire station? Like…at 10 o’clock?

ICT: Ok. What are we gonna do?

FT: Just hang out


A firefighter forgets his iPod at the fire station. He slides the garage door and mumbles
, what the fuck?

The fire truck is humping the ice cream truck. He’s hitting it from the back. And suddenly the ice cream truck’s music comes on. I guess that was her orgasm.