Nobody understands me

These were the words of a bodyguard named Bambi

He worked for a guy who sold cocaine for the eyes

Meaning, you rub cocaine in your eyes

And you get high

Bambi, he

Was depressed but he

Still had to protect

He was the most depressed bodyguard

Of all time

The History Channel wanted to do

A special on him

Bambi said, but why the History Channel?

The executive said, because you’re living in the past


It’s Kind Of Like Crank

I’m a hotshot. I walk with an edge
My kisses taste like an orange wedge
I think I’m the best at negging a girl
But I only go nuclear on a chosen few
She chose me to be her boo
I’m like, koo

That ain’t no sweat
We got a gallon of jet fuel
For one big ass jet
It’s charted
Whatever that means
I walked into the living room
And saw a random movie scene
Should I sit down to watch?
Is what I asked myself internally
In a split second I made the decision
Not to. I walked into my room and saw my laptop open
I said, fuck it. I got to.
That ain’t even no choice
Someone should make a movie
About a guy who dies
If he doesn’t write
For over a week
Kind of like Crank
That guy had to be
An adrenaline junkie