Random List Pt. 21

An egg with purple stripes. It hatches and in it are a book of matches

A girl cop making your world stop when she hurls shots at your twirl top

You win the lottery. Next day you invest in pottery and a company named Shottery

I threw myself on the ground and no one tried to pick me up

I discovered a new drug, it’s called Notti, you drink it with tea or with cotti

You arrive at your apartment, it’s dark. Thru a straw someone shoots at you a dart

I graduated with a degree, a bachelor’s, now I’m at home feeling like a factor

I ate cupcakes in a Mustang, while blasting the music of a band named Punch Fangs

I opened a kratom bar. 5 years later I’m recognized as a kratom star


Random Pt. 20

Licking a big fat herpe off a guy’s lip

Calling a guy hip, who’s 5’6, and likes to dive sick

Stopping at a red light and blowing your brains out…a guy named Aine Miles

Eating a bowl of roaches and then eating the ass of old highschool coaches

Beating your wife and then beating your kids and then beating the cops that show up at your crib

You go fishing…you catch a salmon…and you’re so happy you shit out an almond

You move to Croatia…first day there…6 villagers are in your room looking at your underwear

You’re slurping an Italian Ice…then you go to Al’s Beef…

A co-worker loses his mind. He shows up to work and pops you and your boss with a nine

Force-feeding a starving Muslim swine. And he starts crying (pronounce it as crine)


Random List Pt. 19

A guy eating a black peach at a track meet with Cadillac feet

An asteroid made of gold about to hit Earth, should we deter it or let it hit? In other words should we remain poor or get rich?

I met a Martian his name was Stevie, he said Jose, I like to hit the weedie

I crossed the street without looking and got hit by a semi, I woke up and I was in bed

I converted to Islam and I crossed it with Buddhist, an imam pulled me aside and told me I cannot do this

I entered the most ghetto part of Romania and my heart stopped when I saw, a crow bark and a dog caw

I hosted a party with DJ Clue, I got on the turn tables and played Rock & Roll blues

I entered the dungeon of Heaven, I didn’t know there was one, I was surprised when I realized it was stocked up with guns

I woke up in a cold sweat and I started thinking, Lord where are you, He said to me, where are you? Damn.

I wrote me a last rhyme, let’s just say baseball was not my favorite pastime


Random List Pt. 18

I ignite an explosive carrot and walk away from it slowly

I bought a squirrel at a gift shop and named it Toby

I entered a ward psychiatric and on TV I watched hockey, a hat trick

I saw a woman sucking dick at a gas station bathroom

I got my balls sucked clean by a Dirt Devil – vacuum

I sprayed perfume in my asshole and told my dog to smell it

I went to a beauty salon and told the hottest beautician, “my hair, you should gel it”

I stole an ice cream truck and used it to block traffic, then I gave everyone ice cream

I got so pissed off when I woke up kuz I was having a bad ass dream

I put my dick on the chopping block and jammed the whole guillotine