story

Let’s Skip The Chatter

I told a room of ten psychologists,

You’re all a bunch of pompous assholes


We’re psychiatrists, sir

Even worse! You guys think your shit medicine can fix everything

Suck my dick! All of you!

I got up and saw two men rushing towards me

They had a jacket, the jacket was strait

Sir just stay calm

But instead I exploded and took everyone down with me

But minutes later? I began to regenerate and I walked out of the room

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story

Chicago Gun Violence

On the news was an Ogre
On the bottom of the screen it said “Ogre”
The ogre was green

Ok we are here with Ogre. Ogre tell us what you saw..

Ok. I’m an Ogre. I was taking a dump over there. When I saw a car crash into the playground. The guy, he got out and started shooting at the kids.

One of the parents, he started running my direction. But was shot down.

That’s terrible. What kind of gun was he using?

I don’t know to be honest. I am just ogre.


Ok back to you Al
.

Excuse me, can I fuck you?

No, I don’t fuck Ogres.

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Poetry

The Asylum Was Once Sane

I fought a chick
In the streets I fought a chick
I thought hmm they claim they iz equal
So I’ma fight a bitch

I fought the odds, I went against them, facts
When I blast the MAC it turns into a TEC, just magically
Saddle me, but not with debt
Oh wait these days that’s the only thing one can be saddled with
The school of Adler’s shit

I enrolled in DePaul
Which major? Fuck it.
I studied them all
I’m having a ball but my basketball is across the room……weird.

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Poetry

Elupatita

I hit em with an uppercut that’ll slice the chin
And raise him a half an inch off the asphalt
His ass will fall with a thundering clap
I will stand over him and hit him again if he tries to react

I will jump off a building and shoot out a web
And swing from Sears Tower all the way to Soldier Field
Then I will sit and watch a Bears game
As the Bears score and we cheer more

I will run so fast I travel time
Then run so slow I unravel time
I will speak a limerick to a redheaded goddess and buy her tamales
I will then tell her I don’t want sex
Reverse psychology
Next thing you know…we have sex

I will then stop writing this poem
And think of the next
But one thing’s for sure
I won’t be going to bed

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Poetry

How Long?

How long will you hide baby
Wear a disguise baby
You are MY baby
Why hide baby?

How long will you avoid thee
By thee I mean me. My own definition
How long will you be suspicious baby
I’m just a man on a mission baby
You, I’ma stop dissing baby

I’m above that
Hope you love that baby
Rule number 1
Always trust the crazy
They’re too crazy not to love you
Baby let’s make a bet
I bet before I die I’ll fuck you
BET!

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