Happy Mother’s Day, Bitch

It was Mother’s Day…

Mothar Mal curled up by a window
And with her dumb face she stared up

Mothar Mal began to read a book
But lost interest after the first page

She called her dog over
A Mowitzi named Rage

Next thing you know
Mothar Mal gets a call
You’ve been diagnosed with AIDS
You have one second to live

*One second passes*

She falls and the phone bumps off her head

Happy Mother’s Day, Mothar Mal, said the physician.


Funny Story

Put your hand in a toaster
The mind is a neuronal coaster roller
I know the names of parts of brains
How smart am I?
The question is rhetorical
I saw a baby on the street, crawling at my feet
It was adorable
I picked her up and deemed her parents
As deplorable
The baby I took home
But it wouldn’t stop crying,
now I’m flying in a rage
To cool off I went to a play and I threw my phone at the stage
I think I then left in a rush and tripped on a rotten log
In the trees was the baby in camma


I’m like…what are you doing here?
Babies can’t walk?
The baby said, Shut up!
And I said, wtf
Babies can’t talk!