Poetry

Aladdin Flows

I got the soul of Mitt Romney with the mind of Obama
I abuse the comma and make sentences longa
So long like goodbyes
I’m spry so I’m mobile
I saw a Sprint representative blow up a T-Mobile
I used to bump B96
Back when on the air was Eddie and Jobo
I’m the hombre lobo

I had lunch with Trish Stratus
And then did batting practice with Greg Maddux
I just about had it with the status quo
I slept with Ariel
Even tho Jasmine is Aladdin’s hoe
Pure cocaine, I call that Aladdin Snow
Don’t make me have to tag a toe
Go to Red Lobster and watch me eating crab and more!
I explore. I adore. And I just found the graham crackers
Who’s up for some smores?!

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story

Throwin’ Heat

On the baseball mound was Hound Maggard. He threw strikes at the head of batters. He spit seeds in the face of catchers. And he flew into the outfield to catch fly balls. He could do it all, true.

“Hey, Jeremy,” said Hound, “I blew my arm out but I’m gonna try to pitch with my left. And if I blow out my left, I’m gonna pitch with my feet.”

Sure enough, Hound Maggard blew his left arm out and before the game was over he blew out both feet. He finished the game by spitting three strikes down the middle of the plate.

“How does he do it,” asked Jeremy.

No one answered him.

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