I Stand With Lemonade

I shake my little dick until you see me spraying semen sauce

I live in Gotham where Semen is boss

I knew a guy from Oregon, his name was Emily

He said Jose, even tho I’m white, you kinda resemble me

She worked at a pizzeria, in the bathroom she was doing diarrhea

But the toilet wouldn’t flush

So now the manager had to come into the bathroom, and she blushed

He was like damn Maria, that’s quite a mess you made

And hey! Where’s Jose?

He’s outside selling lemonade


Waking Up…With Sam Charris


Damn what happened? I’ve been asleep the last two weeks. Anything new? Seriously guys, anything?

Oh shit.

I thought of something

A guy breaking a light bulb on his head then collecting the glass in a dustpan and pouring it in a dog bowl and then a dog-sized elephant comes along and sucks it up and then its trunk starts bleeding from the outside…and then…and then…you fuck the elephant in the ass…crazy thinking or nah?

Damn did I just fuck everything up?

Ah. Who cares.

Wait….I just had another thought


Wild Style Wednesdays

Im a kamikaze pilot…the sky was dark,,,there was an explosion (boom!)
And then the sky was lit

Omg Im tired of this shit!!! But real men don’t cry

That’s what daddy told me. Daddy don’t hold me
Im too big to be held

I told my favorite concubine, go get my gel

It’s time to bring
My hair to life

The world ends at 9PM
Let’s not care tonight

I’m sinking half-court shots
From the charity strike

The harder the task, the more I bask in it, true

I play basketball, I shoot a basket or two

The government is like…no one is asking you!

No one had to dude


Psy Borg Thore

I’m homicidal
So it’s smart to stay away from me
At any second
I could snap
I could crack
A joke…and defuse the tension
But why do that? When I LOVE the tension

Yup. I think ya shit sucks
Just give up
You’ll never achieve, you’ll never climb higher
I’m a poet slash vampire
I’m out!
Syke! I’m a damn liar
My name is not even Jose
It’s actually Miguelito
That’s an inside joke



My genes are superior
Your genes are inferior

I got that signature trait
When certain genes are expressed
The world I best
It’s quite phenomenal
I teach karate. I’m a black belt
I’m the type to not make a doctor’s appointment
Kuz I’m so sure of my health
Don’t worry about me and don’t doubt me
Because I won’t doubt myself
I told my servant,
Go get my wealth!


A Legendary Writer

I’m still writing y’all
I’m combative, I’m fighting y’all
What happens when a lil nigga feels tall?
He joins the NBA and plays ball

I’m a hoopster, I hoop outdoors in all conditions
I even shoot around during the intermission
Wells be wishing I feed em a coin
I battled them all in the Battle of Boyne
I think my sound is super sonic
I act moronic, then I act intelligent
I ride thru storms on Belgium elephants
And I play the banjo, she fingers the harp
AK-47, Mac-11 humming, tears yo block apart
I’m a supernova exploding heart
I wait till sundown to throw in pitch-black dark a dart
I rub my chin and think I’m smart
A conversation with me may strike you as performance art
Because I speak as if some crazy shit is about to start

The heart pumps faster, like an impending disaster is fast approaching
I don’t need coaching, I told my coach he is but a roach in the scheme of grand things
I pull a fast one like a sprinter’s hamstring
Damn these things that I don’t agree with
I drink coffee by myself, I have no one to drink tea with
My album, I’ma leak it, it’s been a secret for too long
In my drawer is still my ex-girlfriend’s red thong
Right next to the light green bong, and ganja from the mean streets of Hong Kong

I ding, but do I dong?
Don’t ask me what’s wrong kuz a tirade will ensue
I’m in court getting sued by a beautiful dude
He said I was rude, and my lawyer’s a Jew, so…
I’m well defended, let’s stop pretending, I told the court
Ya’ll just wanna see me in person, of course, of course
My torso is not tatted, my flesh is clean
Let’s drop the moon on a trampoline to see if it’ll bounce
When I’m broke I buy weed in grams, when I’m not, I buy an ounce
I pounce on a subject like a ruthless rugrat
I’m like, fuck this! … I point at something else, And fuck that!
My truck is fat so it fits hella women, by the dozens in fact
I’m feeling like a mack. They cackling, cracking up
Kuz I’m saying shit that’s funny, shit that’s nutz
My nuts be too hairy for the faint of heart
Ah! A new poem…where should I start?


A Busy Man

I told her, I’m very important baby
I have many tasks I must tend to
I went to a restaurant of 4 stars
And demanded to see a 5 star menu
I told my Uber driver….I’m not getting in that!
But then I got in…kuz I couldn’t afford to be late
To my dinner with Jack

Dorsey. Oh he
And I will be discussing
Business proposals of the most lucrative caliber
I took stimulants on the way there kuz he’s the ultimate chatterer

After my meeting with him
I went to a sauna
And the steam was actually smoke
From the plant called marijuana

Then….I forgot what I did
I think I blacked out in the sauna
And I woke up with the beautiful attendant
Hopping on top of me
Off to the side was a TV
She turned it on for me
And the news was airing a clip of me winning the lottery

Kind of cool. . .