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Random Dialogue Pt. 12

I got hired by Comedy Central

They like the way I play a guy who’s mental

Little do they know…

Producer: Ok. Now we’re gonna set the cameras here, behind you. And you just sit at your computer and do what you would normally do.

Jose: Ok.

*Jose picks his nose and smears green with a hint of red on the wall*

Producer: Wow. That’s nice.

Jose: I’m hungry. I want to eat the cheese sticks I left in the fridge.

Producer: Ok. Follow him. Come on.

*We are in the kitchen, I am leaning against the sink, eating*

Producer: This is so typical of a Jose story – it’s not going anywhere!

Jose: I rhyme daring. Feelings I ain’t sparing.

Producer: Wow. Did you guys get that?

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Random Dialogue Pt. 11

A meeting is held at DaraQuinn Pharma

Erick: Raise this medication to $10,000

Marley: But sir. It only costs 15 dollars to make.

Garon: Yeah and at 50 dollars we’re making plenty profit.

Erick: Plenty profit. *Laughs* Oh you are so naive Garon. How did you even make it this far?

Marley: Sir, no one, I mean, very few people will be able to afford this. And it’s very crucial for the health of diabetics.

Erick: It’s true that few individuals will be able to afford it. But health insurance companies will certainly be able to afford it.

Garon: And if they can’t?

Erick: Then too bad.

*Two weeks later, their only competitor raised its price from $5,000 to $10,000*

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Random Dialogue Pt. 10

Officer 1: You think he’s ready?

Officer 2: Yeah he sounds ready. Let’s bring him in.

Officer 1: You know…some people do the craziest things.

Officer 2: He’s not crazy. He’s stupid.

Officer 1: Well…I wouldn’t be so sure.

Officer 2: We’re gonna see when we bring him in. We’re gonna get a good measure of him.

Officer 1: Yeah I actually can’t wait for that.

Officer 2: I bet you a small coffee he’ll start crying for his mommy.

Officer 1: Oh shit look at that. He just wrote a post addressing us talking about him.

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Random Dialogue Pt. 9

Josh: I ain’t listening to no woman, god darn it. God damn no. No woman gonna tell me how to drive my tractor.

Josh’s Friend: Please. Josh! You gonna get your dumb self fired. Come on.

New Manager: Listen here, y’all! Josh over here don’t wanna work for no woman.

Janis: Send his ass home!

Josh: That’s right! I ain’t working for no goddamn woman! I done said that already. I ain’t gon repeat myself no mo.

New Manager: Josh. You ready for this?! You are fired, mister. Buh-bye.

Josh: Good! I’m glad I’m fired! I rather be fired than to work for some dumb……

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Random Dialogue Pt. 8

Dave made his wife a burger.

Dave: I made you a burger.

Molly: Thanks. I hope it doesn’t suck like last time.

Dave: Every fuckin time! You always have to talk shit. Why can’t you just say, “gee thanks Dave for the burger.”

Molly: Ok. Thanks Dave for the burger.

*Molly takes a bite*

Molly: It actually sucks a little less than last time.

Dave: That does it!

Molly: Where are you going?

Dave: I’m going out with the boys. At least they know how to treat a man!

Molly: Alright. You better not call me later crying.

Dave: I never do that.

*Later that night*

Dave: Oh my God, Molly. I love you. Just – please tell me my burgers are good.

Molly: Your burgers are good

Dave: Thank you!

Molly: At making me not want to eat. Haha.

Dave: Seriously? I’m about to throw myself in front of a car.

Molly: Great. One less shitty burger maker in the world.

Dave’s Friend: Dave! What are you doing?

Dave: I’m talking to my wife!

Dave’s Friend: What is she saying?!

Dave: She’s saying good things!

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Random Dialogue Pt. 7

She fell out of love with an artist. This is the story of Tarina Oh and The Artist.

Tarina Oh: You don’t make art like you used to.

The Artist: An artist is always growing. Even now I’m growing.

Tarina Oh: I’m leaving you. I found another artist.

The Artist: Well, I could be upset. But why be that? I appreciated your company. I’m better for having had it. So…I’m looking at it from that perspective.

Tarina Oh: Well. Fuck. I thought you were gonna start crying.

The Artist: Who’s this other artist, if you don’t mind me asking.

Tarina Oh: His name is…his name is…

The Artist: Tarina.

Tarina Oh: What?

The Artist: There is no other artist, is there?

Tarina Oh: No.

The Artist: Take your time finding one. There are plenty of them out there.

Tarina Oh: Ok. Bye Mr. Artist

The Artist: Bye, babe.

Tarina Oh: Can I still see your work from time to time?

The Artist: Yeah you can drop in any time.

Tarina Oh: Ok. Bye Mr. Artist. For real this time.

The Artist: Bye, Tarina.

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Random Dialogue Pt. 6

She fell in love with an artist. This is the story of Yani Olga & The Artist.

Yani Olga: Hello Mr. Artist.

The Artist
: Go away Olga. I’m working on something major.

Yani Olga: Can I see?

The Artist: No Olga. You can see later. When I release my work to the world.

Yani Olga: But you said one of the perks of being with you is that I can see what you’re doing.

The Artist
: Olga, if you don’t get out of here …

*The Artist begins to take his belt off*