Marty Keeto

He Swam

I knew a guy, I think his name was Marty Keeto

The story goes that at night he’d go down into the sewers and have himself a swim

And he would enter thru different sewer caps each time. Sometimes on Archer and Kedzie. Sometimes on North and Broadway.

He always waited till the coast was clear to dive in. He wore black trunks and a highschool jersey he got at a garage sale. No sandals, barefoot.

Reports of a strange man climbing out of manholes circulated. He hated the attention. But he had no way of knowing if the coast was clear when he climbed out. He dreaded coming out, so sometimes he prolonged his swims just to forestall his resurfacing.

Anyway, The Sewer Man, they now called him on the news. And here and then a faroff picture of him would appear on social media. One guy had a video, it showed Marty running away. He was chased by the guy recording. He jumped on a dumpster and launched himself over this big heavy fence. Quite the feat. In the video, Marty appeared bald with a coat of black paint over his entire body. It intrigued people further.

Months later, people began to go down into the sewers themselves. A bit of a search party formed up. They went on canoes. Flashlights and all.

A year later, swimming in sewers is an activity countless people enjoy.


As for Marty?

Well, if you pay me, I’ll tell you.


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