I’m climbing a mountain with Larry Stranded
“You have an interesting name.”
What’s so interesting about it?
“It suggests that you’re gonna get stranded. And well, by extension, so am I.”
Well we are. But we’re gonna find our way back down by sheer force of will….
You can pussy out now if you want
“Nah let’s do it. It’ll be a great story to tell if we make it.”
*5 hours later, it’s night*
“Oh shit is that a mountain lion?”
Oh fuck I think it is
“Get ready to shoot it”
But I’m with PETA
“Jesus Christ! It’s gonna kill us, dude.”
Alright. But don’t tell anyone
“Oh fuck what is it wearing?”
“Oh fuck. I think that’s a bullet proof vest. Shoot at its head!”
I’m conversing with a random girl at a bar.
And so what happened to him?
“He’s now an amputee.”
Another guy chimes in, trying to cockblock
No way you pushed a mountain lion off a cliff
*Alright. I Skype Larry Stranded*
Larry: Another non-believer?
Larry: Yeah he pushed a mountain lion off a cliff
Wow I think that’s sexy
But it was the guy that said it.