I Went Mountain Climbing

I’m climbing a mountain with Larry Stranded

“You have an interesting name.”

What’s so interesting about it?

“It suggests that you’re gonna get stranded. And well, by extension, so am I.”

Well we are. But we’re gonna find our way back down by sheer force of will….

You can pussy out now if you want

“Nah let’s do it. It’ll be a great story to tell if we make it.”

*5 hours later, it’s night*

“Oh shit is that a mountain lion?”
Oh fuck I think it is
“Get ready to shoot it”
But I’m with PETA
“Jesus Christ! It’s gonna kill us, dude.”
Alright. But don’t tell anyone
“Oh fuck what is it wearing?”
“Oh fuck. I think that’s a bullet proof vest. Shoot at its head!”
I’m out!

*Months Later*

I’m conversing with a random girl at a bar.

And so what happened to him?

“He’s now an amputee.”

Another guy chimes in, trying to cockblock

No way you pushed a mountain lion off a cliff

*Alright. I Skype Larry Stranded*

Larry: Another non-believer?
Me: Yup
Larry: Yeah he pushed a mountain lion off a cliff

Wow I think that’s sexy

But it was the guy that said it.


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