story

More Stories? Ugh

She’s like, can you tell more stories?

I don’t know. I need to be inspired.

Tell a story about this saltshaker. If it’s good, maybe later I’ll shake something other than this salt.

Umm. Hmm. Ok. One day, the restaurant manager, Matthis Martin, he noticed that on this particular table was no saltshaker. He started cursing everyone out. Telling everybody to find one, or they’re all fired. It didn’t turn up, so he starts panicking. Kuz this is the kind of guy who likes everything perfect. Attention to detail kind of guy. He starts sweating profusely and he calls his mom, he says he’s going to have a heart attack. Suddenly, he gets an idea, he gets this wild look in his eyes.

He drives four blocks away to Tacos United. He orders a taco and starts looking around, trying to see which saltshaker will be easiest to take.

Now this is the funny part. His employees, they call and warn about him. And ask to please remain anonymous. A few moments later the cashier says, “sir what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” he says.

“You’re taking our saltshaker.”

“No I’m not!.” He drops it and runs away.

So finally, he comes back. He’s spent. He’s like, fuck it.

He finds an empty saltshaker in his desk! But now there’s no salt.

He fills up the saltshaker with sugar and puts it on this table. He walks away saying, fuck it! No one here uses salt anyway!

And that is why, *I lick a white powder off my palm,* this tastes like sugar.

*She tries it too.*

Oh my God, Jose. It’s sugar! How did you know!

I just guessed.

Standard

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