story

I Love Me Some H2O

Water bottle wazoo
Water bottle waddle some more
I saw a water bottle at the store
It said, Pick me! Oh. Oh. Pick me.

Why hasn’t anyone picked you, I asked it

No one drinks water no more, man

Hmm. Well let me see. I’m gonna try to get something that goes down good with water.

*5 minutes pass*

I’m back

Oh cool. You’re taking me?

Yes

What did you get? Is it something tasty? Is it something crunchy?

You ask a lot of questions for a water bottle…….I got chocolate

What kind of chocolate?

Don’t trip, potato chip

Hey can you not drink me? And can we just be friends

I don’t know, man. I’m already friends with a tire. People are gonna think I’m crazy. But then again…people thought I was crazy before i became friends with a tire

Crazy? You look pretty cool to me.

Keep talking, water bottle. Flattery will get you very far with me.

I think you’re hot.

Cashier looks at me all crazy. I look at her…you hear that? My water bottle thinks I’m hot

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