You arrive home. You live alone.
You hear a commotion. Very minor. You almost think you didn’t hear anything.
Still. Your heart drops a little.
You turn on the kitchen light and a guy is licking a green paste off the floor.
“Not the guacamole!,” you scream.
In the other room there’s some noise. It’s the bathroom.
You open the door and your two gay neighbors are taking a shower together.
And they’re singing the Pledge of Allegiance to each other