Joel’s Mama

Joel’s Mama leaped at Joel like a leopard with spots. Joel hopped out of the way and sliced her cheek with a platinum switchblade encrusted with a golden dragon on the handle.

“You not supposed to harm yo mama!”

She wailed as she dropped to her knees holding her cheek with both hands. Blood dripped a puddle and soon mosquitos swarmed the pond of blood cells. Getting fat by the second.

“I’m sorry mama.” Joel walked over to her and patted her bald head in sympathy. He threw his blade into the ocean in immense self-disgust.

That is when Joel’s Mama pinched her son’s balls with the strength of a steel crab’s pincers. She raised him up into the air.

“Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! FUUUUUCCCKK! AHHHHHH!”

“Shut up, pussy.”

Joel’s Mama flung Joel into the ocean. His body splashed at least a mile away from the boat. And she then knelt by the puddle, waving the mosquitos away, and then slurping up what was left.

“Oh my God! Mama! Mama! A shark!!!”


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